NPR on Transgender, Part 2

Just wanted to briefly note that I thought NPR’s Thursday story was much, much more insightful and well done than their piece Wednesday. I’ll post back with more thoughts. Way to redeem yourself, NPR.

NPR on transgender children

Now, I am no expert when it comes to gender issues. If there is a weak spot in my feminist education, that’s it, issues of gender identity, sexuality etc. But even I, silly “straight” girl (what does that mean anyway?) know that the story NPR just ran was chalk full of gender idiocy. 

Here’s a quick blurb- you can get the rest and hear the story HERE

First, both children profiled were sexually idenified as boys.  Apparently NPR is not familiar with the distinction between sex and gender. 

Gender identity disorder is a label given to children who believe themselves to be born into the wrong biological body. This diagnostic label encompases a range of behaviors — and the label itself is controversial. But, in general, what characterizes children like Bradley is that they are more than just effeminate boys, or masculine girls, who are gay. These are children who genuinely believe they are girls even though they have a male body — or boys, even though they have a female body.

NPR, its time to catch up- we know that you are trying to be nuetral reporters here but “gender identity disorder” is not controversial, its just plain wrong. Since sex and gender are two seperate things, which have no reason to “match up” besides keeping everyone feeling comfortable with the status quo (read with sexism, homophobia, etc) then I’m not sure how you can incorrectly, or disorderly, gender identify at all. If one does identify, that seems like its half the issue to the crazies anyhow (ever notice how uncomfortable androgyny gets?)

Mainstream psychology states that sex are the set of sexual organs you are born with, gender is the identity that you perform. This is not radical- the ways of being “girl” and “boy” have changed throughout the course of history- gender is not a two set system, its a spectrum, even a web of options. Now, if you really want to get “radical” (which is bullshit, cause its not that radical) go check out the idea that sex is not a two set choice either. Babies are born intersexed all the time and their sex is chosen for then.  Because, the world would fall to pieces without our nice boxes that penis= man and vagina= woman and well you’re just out of luck if you happen to not fit. 

Boys who have a female body, well lets go back to basics here NPR, since you managed not to mention this at all when profiling the therapy approach of “gender identity disorder.” If one is born with a female body, one still has to choose how to perform.  This way of performing may match up with our idea of “female,” ie this little girl might choose to play with dolls given to her etc. How nice, how convinient. However, there is no magical rule that states that having a vagina at birth has a corresponding “right” way of gender performance, or that gender performance has so magical norm in the first place. So, boys are taught to be boys, and girls to be girls. There is lots of overlap between the gender performances, but if you’re familiar with feminist or queer theory at all, you can see how protective people can get about keeping gender lines distinct, performances distinctive. 

Its also interesting how automatic NPR made what it means to be a “girl” or “boy”- the old tropes get pulled out. Pink is a naturally girly color because a little boy (cause that’s what he really is) who wants to be a girl chooses it! So there must be something automatically feminine about pink. Or dresses.

His drawings, however, also proved problematic. Bradley would populate his pictures with the toys and interests he no longer had access to — princesses with long flowing hair, fairies in elaborate dresses, rainbows of pink and purple and pale yellow. So, under Zucker’s direction, Carol and her husband sought to change this as well.

Maybe, just maybe, its not these kids who are screwed up. Maybe its our gender system. Maybe they like the color pink, they like dresses, and those things happen to make them “girls.” Its not their fault they like that stuff that we say doesn’t match up with who they’re “supposed” to be, its our fault for creating insane rules. Fuck the gender/sex dichotomy and our insane rules, and let the kid do what she wants and leave your damn boxes out of it. Whether Bradley is a “boy” or a “girl”, which are both pretty silly ideas at all, why don’t we all calm down and let her do what she wants? 

Additionally, I love how they picked “boys” who wanted to be “girls.” This is terrible, because boys cannot be like girls! Sometimes girls can do boy things, but boys can’t be weak and lame like girls!  Its pretty well documented, as in girls are kept as the lesser gender as they can aspire to boys, but boys can’t aspire to girls. Perhaps this is even scarier, the little boy wants to be a girl?!? Why would you want that? 

Sorry if I messed up an of this analysis, feel free to call me out. Trying to educate myself more about this….

more than “Love your body!” bullshit (which isn’t really bullshit, but is one line going to solve this issue?)

first draft of an essay I needed to write in order to emotionally compose for a paper I’m attempting…  

         Not too long ago I “came out” about my eating disorder. Like so many others my age, my eating disorder has for a long time been anything but glamorous. I certainly wasn’t the stick thin models that anorexia uses as its public face, and I was not throwing up secretly after meals. No, those were my early ED years- when the drive to be thin was unquestioned and holy. My body is not designed to be as a woman the way it was as a girl, no matter how badly I was convinced that its changes were due to my exorbitant and inappropriate appetite. My changing body was a failing, it showed that I had become “bad.” And so, around the age of 16, I decided that food was the newest frontier and my body its land to be conquered.

            So like generations of women before me, including my mother, and probably my grandmother, certainly my great grandmother, I began the initiation into womanhood by the fire of denying and controlling food, and hating my body

            The details of my ED are mundane. They are the story of so many women, it’s not my story anymore. Rather it’s the cultural hysteria of thinness and health that you can see everywhere you turn- a lunchtime girlfriends conversation, the covers of magazines, the junk science of the obesity crisis.  For so long I believed that my struggle was one of loneliness, that my obsession with food, which tipped occasionally into a “full-fledged” ED, was something that was wrong with me. That I was the failure, for first having this body, for second fattening this body, and third, for not being able to be normal, healthy and in control as I was supposed to be.

            So where am I now? I’m angry. So hurt, frustrated and angry at the generation of adults who watched this happen to me and to my sisters. Listen- I understand that you all have your issues. That as young women, you, even less than I, had no language in which to understand the contempt and hat you had for your body and the fat that came with it. You grew up with Twiggy, watched the health craze of the 70’s and 80’s take fat to new levels of terrifying. By now, you’re not young anymore. Many of you have abandoned the images of sex and glamour that accompanied the fantasy of thin. But its still got you, and you won’t talk about it, won’t deal with it, and are going to watch your daughters, nieces, god children suffer through the mess you haven’t stood up to.

            Blame is a nasty thing.  It tends to narrow one’s field of vision, concentrating hatred and fear on something which does not deserve it.  The real problem in the destruction of the female body does not lie with my mother’s generation.  They have their own wounds and their own baggage. They are not responsible for creating this monster of patriarchy and capitalism. My intention, despite my anger, bordering on blame, is a call to action, not to punishment.

            Recently my mother picked a book up for me, knowing of my struggles with my body and my feminist tendencies. The Body Project is a fantastic book, approachable and readable, even without a background in feminist thought. My senior year of high school I read this book as part of a gender studies class. It describes the historical path that women’s bodies have taken on their way to their current state, how we have learned to make our bodies “projects” reflecting our success and worth. She left it with a pile of mail, with a nice note saying she thought that I might enjoy it.

            Later that week, over dinner out, I informed her that I had read it already, but I appreciated the gesture (which I did, she picked up on the stuff I care about, which is nice.) I told her she might want to consider reading it, it was a great introduction to the political and personal history of women’s bodies. Yes, yes, she told me, it did sound interesting. But she had so many books to read! They just piled up.  Yes, I thought silently, but none of those books will help you understand your own wounds, or my wounds, or the wounds that impact those closest to you. Your daughter told you she is in recovery from an eating disorder and invites you to understand it, you tell her that you’ve got to go read about alternative energy.

            For me, this illustrates a quintessential mark of the baby boomer generation. Though my experience is primarily through the lens of a very privileged and white upbringing, these are the people who set the agenda, have access and have power. Their interests are critical to the cultural zeitgeist.  My mother does amazing work, she volunteers for the board of trustees at her childrens’ school, she donates time and money to a plethora of organizations that do work both in the US ands abroad. One, in particular, goes to communities without clean water sources, and utilizing local resources, installs accessible wells. She’s been to several of these countries, touring wells and visiting communities who tell the organization how wonderful their lives are now with clean water (which is also true and wonderful.)

            As the well meaning citizens of United States become involved in their choice causes, they seem to be forgetting their children, proverbial and literal. As they care about global warming, they ignore the fact that their girls still have unequal access and rights to being outside.  As they push their college students to travel overseas to help out “developing” countries, they forget about global warming. As they advocate for local, organic food, they forget that so many of them still can’t eat without guilt, that their girls don’t know how to love their bodies with food.  This generation claims to be selfless, they claim to be givers, a return to their flower children roots perhaps, atonement for the 80’s. But my mother runs marathons to cope with her body, she orders half portions at restaurants when she’s not that hungry, has the wait staff box up that other half. She tells me she wouldn’t be able to have a jar full of chocolates near her, as I do, at work. I would eat all of them, she tells me, her voice full of years of learned diet talk, lack of self control, badness.  

            It’s a generation that is so afraid of its shadow, of its issues, that it pretends they’re all out there. Even then, the conditions of suffering out there are not really their responsibility. Human suffering, according to the glossy non-profit pamphlets, is something that is here for you to change. It’s not the product of industrialization, colonialism; it’s this inevitable thing that can make you, you, the savior. And what kind of person would you be not to help, the voices cry. What this cultural obsession, moral mandate, really does is save us from looking at the stuff that actually hurts, gives us an out for looking at the suffering we cause in our own lives.  

            The trouble with my critique is that it is unable to account for the amazing amount of good that people like my mother do. It calls her, and women like her, out in a sexist way, holding them accountable for the issues of their daughters, while leaving men in the shadows, those who in our patriarchy hold real power. Yet it is my mother who I am so angry at, so frustrated with. Marianne Willimason was talking about her generation the other night, and I was lucky enough to attend. She noted that the survival of a species is many times indicated by the actions of mothers to protect their young- she said that if this were true, American mothers could do better. Yes, American mothers can do better- especially those privileged enough to externalize their guilt and suffering, to look away from those closest to them for what they need to heal. Many mothers don’t have this luxury, many American mothers worry about feeding, clothing and keeping their children physically safe. For those of you who have the ability to think about concerns for your children that are beyond survival- think twice. Don’t turn away from the issues that will starve your daughter, silence her. She needs you to deal with your own baggage, to touch those wounds, to come back and help her. 

           

 

This week so far…

1) NIA- check it out. Hippie dancing has never been this good.

2) Talking to midde school girls about body issues and diet. Woooo. Pretty good, except for the one girl who thought I was telling her she was anorexic…. lesson learned! Rocked the boat

3) Marianne Williamson speaking last night

4) Job interview (never knew I could come up with answers that quick)

5) Frustration over the silence between generation of women, stemming from the silence, shame and body obsession that is given to generations of girls.  ARG!

6) Kim Chernin’s new intro to Obsession where she calls out the false silence among women about their body obsessions- how it was a big mystery, a phenomena that had to be “proved” to exist. Made me feel sane again.

Portland and a shaved head

First, I ran off to Portland for Friday night. Then came home to coach on Saturday. I’ve decided its not Portland for me this summer. Great city, nice people, but too small and too close. I’m feeling antsy. Lots of stuff has been coming up, lots of clearing out, dealing, figuring. Oh life!

This morning I went to church, and inspired by the tales of a friend, am thinking about shaving my head. Oh boy. Mostly the urge represents my energy and desire around change. About stripping away all the ways I define myself and measure myself to find something more real.  My boyfriend would kill me.  Isn’t it funny how people equate sexuality to how someone looks?  How attached I am to something like hair? One guy friend told me that I probably wouldn’t have sex for a while…. he then offered to close his eyes if I really needed to get laid. I’m not sure why I call him a friend…someone has to have hair to have sex with you? To be “attractive” enough to “get” laid? It just show how some people while being so cool are so confused and misinformed. 

how sad that our ideas about sex are tied into pathetic ideas about beauty. 

 

Young white Obama supporters- here’s a cookie, you’re not racist.

I am imploring the Obama camp- please please please give us an idea that you know what’s going on with Hilary in this campaign its sexist bullshit. Obviously, Obama is not responsible for the nasty YouTube videos popping up that degrade Hillary as a “crazy” woman (see bitch) however, the support that Obama is garnering form a distinctly misogynist gathering worries me. That those out there seem to think that supporting a black male candidate makes them somehow progressive or PC enough to call a white women crazy. Which is interesting, because so many of these supporters seem super desperate to gain status as a card carrying anti-racists….

Those white Obama supporters who think they aren’t racist, by adding Obama to their hand of “I’m a good white person” cards, need a reality check. Let me quickly review some often coveted cards in that hand….

“My black friends say…”

“When I spent a summer in an (insert African country) village…”

“Isn’t it terrible about (insert common Africa stereotype here, genital mutilation, starvation, lack of clean water) I’m involved in this great non-profit”

Other tokens commonly seen- pictures with brown babies, “traditional” tokens for service trip. 

White people it seems, especially the young white “progressives” who seem to be supporting Obama, love to collect these cards in order to protect themselves against the thing that they know is real- being prejudiced and racist is kinda part of being a white person in America. Unless you grew up in a cave, you’ve been exposed to racial stereotyping, the myth of the white norm, and used your observational powers to see who gets ahead in this country (while being told that all it takes is hard work.) That leaves most white americans in the camp of being racist (yes, get over it, you’re a product of a racist society.)  Racism does not mean that you overtly hate PoC. That’s called bigotry and hatred. 

This being true, we’ve got a bunch of white liberals who are pretty freaking scared of deeply seeded ideas about race, because they know its not “right” but they still catch glimpses of it every once in a while- and don’t have the understanding to talk back to it. Take that (white guilt) add a black man running for president, and you’ve got a liberal white boys wet dream.  We’re talking someone who is “safe” because he’s highly educated and speaks as they do (safe black guy, good black guy) yet is also “black” (read hip and down) and can prove how cool these young white guys are.  

So young, white, hip Obama supporters- if we give you a cookie and tell you that you’re not racist will you be happy?  Congrats. Now for the “how not to be sexist lesson 101″- calling women “bitches” is a misogynistic term. 

To be clear- I totally agree that Obama has faced racism across this campaign.  I’m NOT saying that white progressives have not said some messed up things, or that all white boys are voting for Obama, or IN ANY WAY that Obama has received privilege due to his race in politics. But he has because of his gender. 

 

Over @ “The Root” we’ve got an problem

Below is a pasted an article you can link to here. I really hope that I missed something here. My response is below. 

Barack brushes his shoulder off [call]

lacewellm

   

Marc,

Did you see it? Did you see Barack brush his shoulders off?

Like every other hip-hop generation voter in America I went crazy when he did it. I almost couldn’t believe it. It was a perfect moment.

Barack’s key constituencies are tough because they are his most important assets and his most visible liabilities: African Americans and young people. Within Barack’s diverse coalition black folks, city dwellers and young voters are his steadfast allies, but his opponents consistently use race and age to label him unqualified and inexperienced.

Barack needs to keep his black, urban and young voters while adding laborers,suburbanites, seniors and rural folks into a winning coalition. Great campaigners know how to talk to multiple audiences at once. They send solidarity signals to some while allowing others to remain blissfully unaware.

W. is a master of this “dog-whistle” politics. Especially in his first term, Bush sent piercing rhetorical signals to evangelicals that the rest of the audience was completely incapable of hearing because they don’t get the reference. Think “wonder-working power” during his State of The Union address and “Dred Scott” references during his abortion answers in a debate with Kerry. These are crystal clear signals to some but mean nothing to others.

Marc, last week you said Obama would have to be more like Bush. Well, Barack gave us the dog-whistle remix this week and it was hot.

Barack is much more earnest than Bush. His coalition strategy has been explicit. Obama articulates the reasons we have shared interests and encourages us to see past difference. This is why many of us Barackers are so excited about his candidacy.

But political campaigning is not only about earnest argument. It is also about strategy. When Obama brushed his shoulders off he took the secret handshake platinum.

He displayed all the familiar self-assurance and bravado of the hip-hop emcee. The people who got-it went nuts, while those who don’t know hip-hop just thought he was being funny and confident. This moment hit YouTube and went viral in a matter of hours. It was a signal of solidarity with his base of young, urban, black and brown voters. We loved it.

Marc, if Barack is listening to Jay-Z what do you think are his favorite cuts these days? 99 Problems maybe?

Melissa

 

My response (via comment)

WOW. Hold on one second. I think this article is fine… up until the last paragraph. “99 problems” is reference (for those who don’t know) to a Jay- Z song.. the complete line being “I got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one.” Ms. Harris- it would be an understatement to say this is offensive. Calling Hilary a bitch (it seems to be fairly obvious to whom you are referring here) is not only weak, tired,and not a political point, but sexist. Again, I’m baffled, as an Obama supporter, at the ways fellow supporters feel they have the right to attack Hilary for being a woman. Not only that, but suggesting that Obama would be listening to this song in reference to his opponent shines a terrible and insulting light on a candidate who I believe knows a thing or two about oppression, including sexism.  

DId I miss some irony or satire in this post? I hope.

__________

Wasn’t it clever for her to use the same style of pop culture referencing in her article that Barack did in his speech, speaking to the “hip-hop” generation by referring to a song that only some would know ended with a stab at Hilary?  Brilliant. I’m so impressed. 

 

 

 

Off to Denver!

So, I’m off to Denver this summer in hopes of conributing to the effort to organize the DNC Convention. Talk about an opportunity to be a part of some history! If anyone has any leads for me in the Denver area about this… I’d love to have them. Especially if you have an in with the Host Committee… I’m trying to score an job with Jennifer Anderson, she’s running the event planning stuff for the delegates which sounds amazing. 

I’m so excited about this!

Exactly.

Thanks. again, Kate Harding. This is the kind of talk back we need for all the bullshit.. “but is it REALLY…” and “why can’t we talk about the REAL issues…”

check it out @ Shakesville 

And a bit of brilliance from it, my emphasis….
“You know, I recently wrote a short piece about how Liz Phair’s Exile in Guyville helped turn me into a feminist, because she described the shit some men heap on women in a way that totally resonated with me, even though I hadn’t ever given it much conscious thought before. Hanging out here over the last few days, getting involved in fight after fight about whether something is really sexist, and whether we reallyneed to talk about something from a feminist perspective on a feminist blog, and why those of us who keep getting all red-faced and spluttery can’t just calm the fuck down and focus on the real issues already, I’ve found I have “Help Me, Mary” running through my head a lot.

They egg me on, and keep me mad
They play me like a pit bull in a basement
and for that

I lock my door at night
I keep my mouth shut tight
I practice all my moves
I memorize their stupid rules

I make myself their friend
I show them just how far I can bend
As they egg me on, and keep me mad…

That right there is the cultural script for women of my generation. We get to go to school, we get to have jobs, we mostly get to decide what to do with our own bodies, so we’re a hell of a lot better off than Shakespeare’s fictional sister or Virginia Woolf or our own mothers. But still, when men push us, we are not supposed to push back; we’re just supposed to change our behavior so they’ll like us better. We’re supposed to apologize and admit that they’re right, suppress our real feelings to keep the peace. We’re supposed to show them just how far we can bend.”

 

Girl Bonding!

Thanks to The F-Word for this post, talking about the collective club of “who can eat less.” The New Thirteen recently also had a post about her own experiences regarding the eat less= be feminine and good thing we’ve got going on.

I thank my lucky stars, that despite being familiar with the behavior of competative dieting, I’ve really turned that stuff around. I no longer feel the same overt pressure to “eat less” or even equally with the women around me. I can see my thoughts regarding this, sometimes that little voice will pipe up with the suggestion that I eat more, or less, depending on those around me, and generally  I can laugh it off. It’s liberating, listening to your own body, determining your own food intake. Woooo.

The other day, I went to lunch, and we all ordered the same thing. I didn’t think anything of it (even with my over analytical brain!) I also ate the most, and didn’t think much of it, though I was happy and had energy (except to notice that I had eaten the most, which is in fact the only remnance of my old habits. Wonder if it’ll ever fade away….)

On a related topic, I’ve really stopped engagin in, encouraging, or even tolerating the body hate and diet talk with the women, and men, I consider peers and friends. I refuse to denegrate my body, or anyone elses. Its just LAME. People try to go there, and I think they get it, I just don’t take the bait (ususally…haha)

Again, its refreshing. I remember that diet, body hating bonding, and IT SUCKED. No more of that nonsense for me. Yeeeeehaw.