Exactly.

Thanks. again, Kate Harding. This is the kind of talk back we need for all the bullshit.. “but is it REALLY…” and “why can’t we talk about the REAL issues…”

check it out @ Shakesville 

And a bit of brilliance from it, my emphasis….
“You know, I recently wrote a short piece about how Liz Phair’s Exile in Guyville helped turn me into a feminist, because she described the shit some men heap on women in a way that totally resonated with me, even though I hadn’t ever given it much conscious thought before. Hanging out here over the last few days, getting involved in fight after fight about whether something is really sexist, and whether we reallyneed to talk about something from a feminist perspective on a feminist blog, and why those of us who keep getting all red-faced and spluttery can’t just calm the fuck down and focus on the real issues already, I’ve found I have “Help Me, Mary” running through my head a lot.

They egg me on, and keep me mad
They play me like a pit bull in a basement
and for that

I lock my door at night
I keep my mouth shut tight
I practice all my moves
I memorize their stupid rules

I make myself their friend
I show them just how far I can bend
As they egg me on, and keep me mad…

That right there is the cultural script for women of my generation. We get to go to school, we get to have jobs, we mostly get to decide what to do with our own bodies, so we’re a hell of a lot better off than Shakespeare’s fictional sister or Virginia Woolf or our own mothers. But still, when men push us, we are not supposed to push back; we’re just supposed to change our behavior so they’ll like us better. We’re supposed to apologize and admit that they’re right, suppress our real feelings to keep the peace. We’re supposed to show them just how far we can bend.”